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Some bitter cold weather was working its way to us from Canada last week, but we weren’t concerned. While we do miss working with cows, we do not miss night calving at 20 below for weeks on end. We find it much more enjoyable to drink coffee while looking out the window at the birds flocking around the bird feeder.
However, this cold weather was going to curtail dog training for a few days, so Kerry decided to take Bella and Maggie on a run to burn off some energy before the deep freeze. I was watching an NFL playoff game and working on an Italian bean and roasted vegetable dish for supper that night, so I took a pass.
How GSPs know that they are about to go do something fun is beyond me. There were no shotguns pulled out. No one was putting on boots or fluorescent orange vests. We were speaking in code so the dogs wouldn’t hear words they know, like their names, TRUCK, OUT, BIRDs or STATE LAND. At times we sound like mobsters talking about a hit.
“I’m going to take the knuckleheads to burn off some energy.” Kerry says while sitting on the couch reading.
“At the usual place?” I inquired while not looking up from my book. We can feel their eyes on us searching for the slightest hint of something to do with them.
“No, the other place close to town.”
“Good idea. The hills will wear them down.”
Instantly the dogs start jumping around woofing, “Ready, ready, ready!”
I guess we have to add THEM to the words we cannot say.
Kerry packed up the girls and headed off while I settled in for football and beans. An hour later I got a text. When Kerry is running the dogs, this text would be between the two of us and say, “Heading back.” This time however the text was on our family thread. It was a photo.
Hilarity ensued as our ever-supportive family chimed in on the thread.
“Maggie is supposed to be the smart one.” Mike said.
Our granddaughter threw up the letter L with her fingers for Loser and lectured Maggie that she should not be messing around with porcupines. (Middle school girls can be mean.)
“Ha, ha, Pipsqueak got quilled!” said Bella. Well, she didn’t actually text since she has no thumbs or a phone, but that is what she would say if she had them.
Kerry said she was pulling quills at the truck with a pair of channel locks. Those are not the proper tool for quill extraction. Forceps are the weapon of choice, but the forceps were at home. The reason they were left at home is a matter of family controversy but it’s safe to assume it was my fault.
When the pack got home, accusations and explanations flew about the room.
“OK. What happened?” I asked.
Kerry said, “Bella went on point but her head was high, not down and in line with her back like when she is serious. I wasn’t sure what was going on, so I walked in to get a look.”
“I held a very good point!” Bella exclaimed, “NAVHDA Judges would give me extra points.”
“Calm down princess. They only give points if you are pointing birds.” Kerry groaned. “Anyway, Maggie was backing…”
Maggie interrupted.
“I was … what’s that word? Starts with a hiss sound.”
“Staunch?” I volunteered with a wicked grin. Kerry glared at me.
“No…” Maggie was racking her brain trying to think of the word. You could tell because her head leaned sideways like she was trying to shake the word loose from her memory. The Head Dog Trainer lost all patience.
“For God’s sake! It’s steady. The word is steady, and we have been working on steadiness since you were a puppy!”
“Oh yeah. I was steady and backed.”
“She did back well,” Kerry said under her breath so as not to excite the dogs. “Like I was saying, I walked in to see what Bella was pointing. It was a porcupine who was just sitting there at the base of a bush not bothering anybody.”
“My point was my new Porcupine Point!” Bella explained. “I stop far away and stand tall so my nose isn’t down where those nasty quills can get me.” I had to admit that it was a good idea and said so. The Head Dog Trainer was not impressed.
“If you are going to come up with specialized points you have to let us know!” She groused. “At any rate I saw the porcupine and was calling Bella off and praising her for remembering and leaving it alone when…”
“Oh no! Don’t tell him!” Maggie whined. “He doesn’t need to know it was me.” And hid her head behind Kerry in shame.
Bella growled, “I think he knows it was you Pip Squeak.”
“Don’t call me Pip Squeak, Bella!” Maggie snarled from behind Kerry’s legs.
“Just stop it. Both of you,” Barked my animal loving wife. “Before I could do anything Maggie decided to break and stop the porcupine from leaving. I don’t think it even swatted her with its tail. She pressed her nose up against its back and then jumped three feet backwards.”
“It looked fuzzy and soft but it hurt.” Maggie said defensively.
“I bet it did,” I said while examining Maggie and felt a broken off quill in her muzzle that I could barely see. The front section of quills are black and blend in perfectly with GSP muzzle hair. “Here it is.”
“That was one I couldn’t get with the channel locks. I think there is a second one as well.”
I went to my fly-tying bench and got my good forceps while Kerry got her head lamp and brought Maggie closer to me by the collar. The little dog was suspicious and tried to back away.
“What are you going to do?” She asked with a little tremor in her voice.” You aren’t going to pull my tooth out like you did with Bella, are you?” The tooth thing is another story. You can read about it here, https://johnjoconnell.substack.com/p/home-alone, if you don’t remember.
“No, I am not going to pull your tooth,” I said as I snuck my forceps up from below so she couldn’t see them, clamped on to the quill, and yanked it out.
“Ow!” Yelped Maggie. Throwing herself to the ground, she rubbed her face on the carpet.
“That feels better now.” She said with surprise in her voice and a wag of her tail.
Kerry and I both ran our hands all over her muzzle and her gums and tongue searching for any other quills but couldn’t find a thing.
“I guess I was wrong. I thought there were two quills left,” Kerry said but she didn’t look convinced. I checked Maggie’s muzzle a little more aggressively just to be sure something wasn’t hiding but came up empty. Poor Maggie was not happy and didn’t want to come near me or the forceps after all of this which was understandable. We got a bunch of her favorite treats, and I praised her while feeding her. She forgave me and the forceps pretty quick. Dried beef lung treats will do that. Bella of course had to get some too.
“I was very brave.” Maggie boasted to her pack mate. “I got treats.
“I was brave, too. That’s why I got treats,” retorted Bella.
“What were you brave about Bella?” I asked.
“I had to watch the quills get pulled out and I remembered it happening to me. It was scary.”
“All right you two,” the Head Dog Trainer lectured waving her finger. “You should both now understand that porcupines are nothing to mess with. They don’t bother anybody so leave them alone.”
“We will,” they said in unison.
The emergency was over so both dogs took a nap while I put supper in the oven. We knew it’s easy to miss a broken-off quill under a dog’s skin but in the morning, if nothing was swollen and hot, Maggie would be fine.
The next morning, I went all over her muzzle and gums again. Everything seemed normal and Maggie enjoyed the attention. We were once again grateful that we trained her from the time she was little to let us stick our fingers in her mouth. I gave her a couple gentle strokes on her head when suddenly the middle finger on my right hand hurt. I looked and right on the first joint I had what looked like an infected sliver.
“That’s weird.” I said as I went into my office to get some tweezers.” I haven’t touched a piece of wood or metal for days.” I put on my magnifiers and managed to grab one end of the sliver and pulled it out along with some pus. It took some effort because the darn thing did not want to come out. Our dogs, of course, had to come in for a closer look to be sure I was doing everything correctly.
“Does it hurt?” asked Maggie.
“A little but it will be fine.”
“Do you want me to lick it for you?” Bella asked. She is a big believer in licking things that hurt.
“It will be fine Bella, thank you,” I mumbled. I was a little distracted because I was examining the sliver. It was tiny, black and wicked sharp on the pointed end, almost like a thorn. It took me a second to understand that it wasn’t a wood or a metal sliver.
“This is a dang quill tip,” I pronounced holding it up to the light by the window. “I must have got it stuck in me while checking Maggie’s muzzle last night. It’s so sharp I never felt it.”
For some reason, my supportive wife found that funny.
“So, you did find a second quill,” she giggled. “I told you there were two!” Bella was laughing too.
“That’s not the way to pull out quills, is it Kerry?” She said. I rolled my eyes. Now Bella was a quill extraction expert!
Laughing at my pain is commonplace at our house but Maggie did not join in. She sat down at my feet and contemplated the quill tip in my tweezers.
She looked up at me with her big brown eyes that were full of sympathy.
“You shouldn’t mess with porcupines,” she whispered. “They don’t bother anybody so you should leave them alone.”
“But I didn’t mess…you were the one… I just tried to help.” I was flummoxed.
Maggie shook her head. “I just hope you learned something,” she said before she jumped on the couch and went to sleep, obviously disappointed in me.
I left the other two, who were still laughing, to find some antibiotic cream, a band aid, and some medicinal bourbon.
Ah the “quill thing”. It’s much more fun when they have to go to the Vet and have anesthesia🤨
Thanks again for the smiles!