I've Been Thinking

Relax. It's not as dangerous as the other time I was thinking.

Mom, Dad and me. My sister gave me The Golden Carp award so it looked like I caught a fish on the this trip

I just got back from a trip back to Connecticut and Pennsylvania to visit family and friends. It was one of those karmic moments where I’m talking to Kerry about visiting my parents when a close friend calls out of the blue and tells me about a ceremony honoring a mutual friend’s long history of service to the community and mentorship to us. The next thing I know we planned out a trip where I could honor my friend, visit my folks, and see other friends that I haven’t sat and talked to in almost forty years.

We got the band back together. We were on a mission from God as they say in the movies

Once I was there it was like we had last gotten together a few days ago instead of it being decades. We are all older, grayer and slower, but we laughed and told stories in front of the fire. We fished, shot sporting clays, and sang. There was marvelous food and excellent bourbon. My only regret was that Kerry couldn’t come. I always have more fun with her by my side and everyone there missed her.

The last night before I flew home, I lay in bed and couldn’t sleep because one thought ran through my head. Why had it been so long? Sure, money was an issue and the price of a plane ticket to Connecticut and back has always been prohibitively expensive for us, but that wasn’t the whole excuse. I finally decided that the answer was that life got in the way. We got so used to tackling the next issue at work or home, friends and family faded into the background.

Everything and everyone back east was filed under, “we really need to…” or “next year lets plan to…” and each year something would come up we labeled as important and those plans dissipated like fog in the morning sun.

Its about priorities, isn’t it? I’m ashamed to admit that my priorities pushed those I love and care about back east to a neglected corner of the room. Well, there’s nothing I can do about the past but I can plan the future better.

If this little piece struck a nerve in you I encourage you do something about it. Kerry and I are at the age now where people are leaving us in increasing numbers and their voices are lost forever. But even if you are young and full of light and life, you never know what tomorrow will bring.

Make the phone call. Book the flight. Rent the car.

I know, I know. My visit was great and I had fun. It’s possible the folks you get together with might be disagreeable or irritating. But I guarantee you will never lose sleep while wondering at some point in the future, “why didn’t I call or visit?”

I will go back next year and this time Kerry is going with me.