Ever See A Crow Hop?

How about a horse that roars?

Hi everyone! We may have had our last snowstorm of the year this past week and Mothers Day weekend should be in the 70s with clear skies. We got an inch of water here at the house that was definitely needed but the drought will still go on. I’m going to have another procedure on my spine next week, this time with a different steroid in case the one they used didn’t work on me. I didn’t know that was even a thing!

This story was posted back in 2022 when I didn’t have many readers so I thought I should give it another go round. It was one of those days I will never forget.

Take care and Happy Mother’s Day to all who celebrate!

A Crow Hopping Horse

People talk a lot about cowboys here in Montana. There are bumper stickers about them. There are roadside signs supporting them. There are large decals on pickups displaying praying cowboys. I’ve never actually seen a cowboy kneeling next to his horse praying but I have heard cowboys yelling God’s name while trying to stay on a rambunctious horse. So, in general, people are very supportive of the cowboy or at least supportive of what they think is a cowboy.

I’ve met maybe four or five real cowboys in my career. By real I mean they can sit a horse properly and not look like a sack of potatoes up there. They also could do most to anything off the back of a horse such as roping cows and opening/closing gates. Finally, they understood what makes cows and horses tick. You might be surprised how many supposed cowboys don’t know anything at all about cows and horses.  They always think they can “cowboy” a troublesome animal. By that I mean force large, powerful animals to do what humans want them to do. It usually ends up as you might expect, with billows of dust, some broken corral rails, and someone bleeding. I have a bunch of cowboy stories but this is one of my favorites. I’ve changed the names and places to protect the innocent, such as they are.

I arrived at a ranch to shoe some horses for the foreman, let’s call him Ken, who was the real deal. When I was done, he mentioned he had a new horse he wanted to get up on but didn’t want to do it alone. He had gotten a really good deal on four geldings at a sale and this black was the last one he needed to try out. Did I have time to play lifeguard? Meaning, can you call 911 if needed. I agreed. I was done for the day, and I liked watching this guy work horses.

The corrals at this place were full of rocks about the size of softballs. I asked why they didn’t rake them out with the tractor.  Ken said they used to, but new ones popped up every year, so they quit. Besides, he told me, those boulders were great inspiration for a fella not to come off a horse.

He led a saddled black gelding into the smallest round corral, closing the gate behind him. I climbed up to the top rail to watch. Sometimes you can just feel negative energy coming off a horse but everything seemed calm enough. He walked the horse around a while, leading him by the reins. Then he stopped and adjusted his rigging, never taking his eyes off the horse’s head. He looked at me and shrugged. I gave him a thumbs up because the horse looked fine to me. Calm soft eyes. Ears up and interested. Just what you wanted in a new horse.

Ken then stepped into a stirrup and climbed aboard. The horse was perfect. He started out with a walk and went around the corral several times without trouble. Then he picked up a trot. I became even more interested because this new horse had a very nice trot. He could cover a lot of ground with that gait.

Ken was happy. He turned the horse around and went in the opposite direction. This horse was smooth as silk in either direction.

“Wow.” I said. “You got a good deal!”

“I know,” said Ken with a laugh. “It kind of worries me.”

He asked the horse to lope and he stepped right into it. This animal was a gorgeous mover even with the rocks strewn everywhere.

“Like sitting in an easy chair!” Ken yelled over the loud clacking of feet on stones.

He slowed to a walk and stopped by the gate.

“Can you catch that gate for me? He asked.

“You bet. “ I said and pulled it open.

 Ken walked his horse out and said,” I’m going to ride him out on the flats for a while. I appreciate…”

He didn’t finish his sentence because the new horse began to buck like he was showing off for the crowd at the Miles City Bucking Horse Sale. Bucking around in circles wasn’t having the desired effect so the black switched tactics and began to crow hop and roar. That horses feet had to be four feet off the ground at each hop and when he landed the air would rush out of Ken in a very loud grunt. Ken could sure ride but how long could he stay on?

Ever hear a horse roar? It’s hard to explain but once you have heard it you will never forget it. It’s a scary sound. An angry, scary sound. It sort of sounds like blowing a lot of air through a PVC pipe only with fury behind it.

There was nothing I could do to help but I noticed they were heading for the barbed wire fence that ran around the ranch headquarters. It was a four-strand fence, new and tight. If they hit that, there was going to be an awful wreck.

“Ken!” I yelled. “The fence!”

“I know! I know!” he yelled back.

That’s when the swearing began. Ken was saying words that even I, a connoisseur of bad language, wasn’t sure what some of them meant. There was some Spanish in there too he must have picked up from his help. The swearing was punctuated by his grunting at the bottom of every hop. It sounded like this.

“You dirty mother.” Grunt. “I will kill you…” Grunt. “Tu madre…” Grunt.

They got closer to the fence and that dang horse started bucking again and raced straight at it. Ken was now definitely looking for a soft place to land but there just wasn’t one. They reached the fence and I swear, I closed my eyes. I just couldn’t watch.

Then there was nothing. No screaming. No swearing. No roaring. No grunting. Not even any popping and jangling of loose wire. Just silence.

I opened my eyes. The black had stopped and was sniffing at the fence. Ken swung out of the saddle rather quickly and stood there. He seemed stunned.

I walked up. “What did you do?”

“Nothing! “Ken said. “I thought we were going to buy it, but he just stopped. I think he knows about wire.”

The horse finished his fence exploration sighed and shook himself like he was agreeing.

“Are you alright?” I asked.

“Yeah, I guess. Not sure I’ll be walking very well for a while.” Ken leaned in to quietly say, “I think my groin is going to be black and blue.”

“Why are we whispering?” I asked.

“So the horse doesn’t know about my groin.”

“I see.” I said wondering if Ken had hit his head somehow. “Maybe you should head back to the house.” I said, “I’ll put your rig away and take care of the horse for you.”

“I’d appreciate that. Just turn him out in the corral behind the barn.” Ken said and he limped off to the house.

I never saw that horse again. I showed up a month later to do some work and Ken said he ran him through the sale ring and a guy bought him for $300.00.

“Did you tell him about your groin?” I asked with a sly grin on my face.

“No, I did not. Didn’t seem like a prudent thing to do as he was handing me cash after his test ride.”

“Test ride?”

“Yup. He rode that black all over the round pen and loved him.”

“How about outside of the round pen?” I asked.

“He didn’t get around to that.” Ken said. “He just handed me money and loaded the horse up on his trailer. Probably thinks he got a great deal and I’m a knot head. I lost money on it but my groin appreciates seeing the last of that animal.” Ken barked out a laugh and walked out of the barn leaving me to finish up one of the ranch horses.

That’s when I realized I needed to ask Ken what the guys name was in case someone called me about shoeing a new black gelding he had just bought.

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